


Okay? Okay.

by Vampiricalthorns



Series: Solangelo One-Shots [6]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Trans!Nico, Trans!Will
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-19
Updated: 2017-05-19
Packaged: 2018-11-02 11:35:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10943697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vampiricalthorns/pseuds/Vampiricalthorns
Summary: Come check me out on Tumblr: https://winglessvampire.tumblr.com/





	Okay? Okay.

It’s all a big, fat lie. Everything is. Nico had accepted that as a fact of life. And it just reminds him more and more the longer he stares in the mirror. He is a big lie. He isn’t beautiful like Will insists that he is. His body is so unlike how he wants it to be.

He stands there in front of the mirror in only his underwear, not even noticing how the clock ticks, counting down the time until breakfast. It currently shows 5:38 am, not that Nico notices it.

Everything about him is wrong and bad. First, his hair. It stands up in all directions like a swarm of bats is what it’s made up instead of actual strands of human hair. Nico can’t stand it, no matter how soft and shiny it is. Will loves it (somehow) and often tells Nico that while making small braids in his hair that is just long enough to be put into a pony-tail. Nico hates it. Will doesn’t understand. No one does.

His face is potentially worse than his hair. Is too soft, too … girly. Nico can’t stand it. Can’t stand his big dark eyes surrounded by dark, long eyelashes. Can’t stand his lips, how they’re dark pink and pouty. His nose isn’t too bad. Nico doesn’t have anything in particular against his nose. But the biggest problem is probably his jaw. It’s too soft; you can’t see his jaw bone. It’s hidden under a thin layer of fat. Nico absolutely hates it. He wants his jaw to be defined like a normal male jaw should.

He has to look away for a moment before letting his eyes trail further down his body. His shoulders are thin and the lack of eating the last couple years has made his collar bones stand out. But that isn’t what is making him almost cry in disgust and anger. No. It’s what’s below his shoulders, on his chest that makes him want to puke on some days.

Nico slowly raises his hands to cup the small mounds of flesh and fat on his chest. Looks at them. Wondering why he even has them in the first place. It doesn’t make sense to Nico. He is a boy, so why did he have to be born as a girl? With all the wrong genitals. With a body he needs to hide? And if Will ever found out…

No, the thought is too painful. He’s been dating Will for over six months, and not once have they seen each other shirtless, not even during training or swimming. It’s a kind of unspoken agreement between them. Nico is relieved. It’s only been, what, 11 months since he first started talking to Will at all.

He doesn’t need to remove his underwear to know what hides beneath it. He hates it, but that’s what he has to live with. It’s not like he has a choice.

His eyes flicker to the clock on the wall and his heart almost stops. It’s 7:30 already. Will is going to be at his door in twenty minutes to drag him to eat breakfast with the rest of camp. He has exactly 20 minutes to find clothes, take the world’s quickest shower and hide his chest. He can do it. He’s done it before and can do it again.

Nico looks in the mirror after putting the last bandage in place, securing it with medical tape. It’s slightly uncomfortable to breathe and he can feel that this is already going to be a tough day.

He’s just run a brush through his unruly hair when he hears a knock on the door. He walks into the main area of the cabin and throws on a hoodie before opening the door to see the Son of Apollo smiling at him. “Morning. Ready for breakfast?”

Nico nods and walks out of the cabin, closing the door behind him. Then he does the mistake of looking up at the sun. It momentarily blinds him and he curses loudly, moving his hand over his poor, poor eyes. “I seriously hate your father right now, William.”

Will laughs and starts to walk towards the food pavilion, looking back after a few steps to make sure that Nico is actually following him. Nico sighs but catches up to Will in no time. It’s not like he has a choice. He has to eat anyways.

After announcements, they part ways and go to different places. Will to the infirmary and Nico to the arena. Nico’s ribs are already aching, but he still takes off his sweater, leaving him in shorts and a t-shirt. There are some other campers in the arena, but they are all at the other side. Probably some class learning sword-fighting from one of the Ares kids. It wouldn’t surprise him.

He drags a training dummy from the storage area and takes a deep breath before attacking it, hitting it in all the important areas. If it had been a real person, those wounds would have hurt like a bitch. He’s gotten a lot of those cuts himself.

A few minutes later, Nico looks at the new pile of hay on the arena ground. Nico sighs; these dummies are no challenge for him. For a moment he wishes that someone else would spar with him, but there’s no one apart from the class for beginners around.

A few dummies later and Nico’s vision is blurred with black spots. His chest isn’t just slightly painful anymore. His lungs are burning and his ribs feel like they’re broken.                                              

Nico tries to sit down and take a deep breath, but the bandages won’t let him get any air into his lungs. He gasps and he can’t keep his balance, resulting in him falling over on his side, coughing violently. He looks around, seeing someone running towards him, calling out his name before the world goes black.

~*~

“Will!”

Will makes a hum of acknowledgement when Piper runs into the infirmary. “You need to come quickly. It’s Nico.”

Will looks up from the box of bandages they had just received. “What’s wrong?”

“We don’t know. Clarisse told me that he just fainted in the arena without any injuries we could see. He seemed to have trouble breathing, though,” Piper says. “You need to come check up on him. Quickly. Putting those bandages away can wait.”

Will nods and picked up a small first-aid kit before running after Piper towards the arena. His heart is racing. What could possibly have happened to the Son of Hades?

A couple minutes later, he kneels by Nico’s side and looks at him. He really doesn’t look good right now, his breath coming in short, frantic gasps as if there’s something blocking his airways.

He looks up and there are Piper and Annabeth as well as their boyfriends. Around him are the rest of the campers from the class that had been there. Other campers were also moving in their direction, wondering what’s going on. He makes a split-second decision. “Annabeth and Piper, I need you to stay with me. Jason and Percy, keep everyone else away for now.”

They nod and move along to do the tasks Will assigned them to while Will takes a deep breath before moving his hand over Nico’s chest, trying to find something out of the ordinary. His eyes quickly widen and he looks up at the girls. “We need to get him to a private room in the infirmary. Quickly.”

“What’s wrong?” Piper asks as Will picks up Nico, taking a deep breath before walking towards the infirmary. Why hadn’t Nico told him this? He was his doctor. He doesn’t answer Piper at once. A couple minutes later he looks at her. “Nothing good. I really hope I’m wrong, but if I’m not, what Nico’s doing is dangerous. Very dangerous.”

Ten minutes later, Nico’s on a cot in a private room with only the girls and Will in the room. “Piper, can you go find Kayla and ask for a new shirt and pants for Nico?”

Piper nods and leaves the room, leaving Annabeth there with him. He knows that Nico’s known her for longer than Piper, so hopefully, Nico will be okay with this. He can’t do this alone and all of the other female healers in his cabin is already on duty or teaching archery.

“Will, what’s going on with Nico? You haven’t done anything to help him yet,” Annabeth says, looking at the unconscious Son of Hades.

Will looks at her. “What happens in this room stays in this room. You have to promise me that you won’t tell a soul, living or dead, about this if I’m right.”

“I promise,” Annabeth says, the honestly clear in her words. Will nods determinedly and looks down at Nico again. “We have to take off his shirt. Or cut it off. It’s just a normal camp shirt. He can get a new one, no problem. Can you hand me a pair of scissors?”

Annabeth hands him the scissors and Will whispers a faint, “I’m so sorry, Nico”, before cutting from the bottom of the shirt towards the top, making it look like some sort of vest. “Help me take it off completely.”

Annabeth looks down at Nico. “Is that bandages? Did he get hurt or something? Maybe in the last Capture the Flag?”

Will shakes his head. “No. We don’t bind injuries with ace bandages. This is something he’s dealt with all life. We need to remove the bandages before they cause more damage to his ribs and lungs.”

“Do you mean that he’s a girl?” Annabeth asks while Will searches for the end of the bandage. “There’s boobs under the bandages?”

“Yes,” Will mumbles, slowly unravelling the bandages squeezing Nico’s ribs. “And he’s a boy, no matter his body. Now help me raise him up so that we can remove the bandages easier.”

Annabeth nods and raises Nico up. “Piper is gonna be here soon with the clothes you requested for Nico. And why do you know so much about this? I get that you’re a healer, but this isn’t common knowledge, is it?”

Will catches a bit of his lip between his teeth. “I know this because I’ve gone through this myself,” He spits out, the words tasting like bile on his tongue. “I’m a transboy and I assume that Nico’s one too. And I know how terrible it is to bind with bandages. It can break your ribs or make your lungs get too much fluid in them. You have to be careful with binding. Very careful. You only should use a proper binder, like I do now.”

Will takes a deep breath when he can see part of Nico’s breasts. Only a few layers of bandages keep them in place now. He really doesn’t want to invade Nico’s privacy like this, but right now he doesn’t have a choice. This is crucial to make Nico better. He needs to get him a real binder too.

“Annabeth, when Piper comes back, get me the clothes and run to Cabin 10 to get a sports bra. Hopefully, that’ll make Nico feel slightly better,” Will says, looking up just as the door opens, revealing Piper. Thankfully, Nico’s back is towards the door so that she doesn’t see any of Nico’s chest. “Here’s the clothes you wanted.”

Annabeth takes them and puts them on the bed right next to Will before leaving the room with her.

Will unravels the last of the bandages and sucks in a breath. Nico’s boobs are smaller than his and if he had chosen to live his life as a girl, he would be well damn attractive. Will quickly looks away and forces the loose hospital tee over Nico’s head, the size of it hiding Nico’s chest pretty well.

~*~

Nico’s eyes opens and he sits up before gasping in pain. His lungs are still on fire and he can’t feel the pressure the bandages provide around his chest. Which can only mean that someone took them off him.

“Nico, relax, you’re safe,” someone says beside him, reaching out a hand to rest it on Nico’s wrist. Nico looks at the person beside him and with a start, he realises that it’s Will. He’s alone in the room with him and looks like he’s been for quite some time. Which can only mean one thing. Will was the one who had removed the bandages from him.

Nico quickly grabs the blanket from the bottom of his bed and wraps it tightly around his shoulders, hiding his whole body apart from his head, fingertips and toes.

“Why did you remove the bandages?” Nico mutters. “I’m fine. I need them.”

Will sits down on the bed opposite Nico. “Nico, you can’t keep binding with bandages. You’re gonna injure your lungs and ribs. There are far healthier alternatives. We’ll get you a binder and you can be both more comfortable with your body and safer.”

Nico looks down. “But where would I get a binder? It’s not something you can find in a normal clothing store, is it?”

“No,” Will says. “But we can go ask Dionysus. He’s the Patron God of transgender people. He’ll be willing to help you.”

Nico looks at Will blankly. The words “Dionysus” and “willing to help” just didn’t fit together in one sentence. Since when had Mr D ever helped anyone with anything?

Will seems to notice Nico’s confused look and lets a small laugh slip past his lips. Nico can’t help but notice how soft they look. _Probably_ _would be nice to kiss_ , he thinks before immediately mentally kicking himself. Will probably wouldn’t want someone like him. Then he kicks himself for just thinking about it.

“Hey, don’t worry about it, okay?”

Will’s voice breaks through his train of thought and makes Nico look. “What you need to do is to get some rest. Can you do that for me?”

Nico nods, he can do this. Not just for Will, but for himself too.

**Author's Note:**

> Come check me out on Tumblr: https://winglessvampire.tumblr.com/


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